Medic's Success (Art of the Dress Parody) (исполнитель: 24railwaycuttings)
Thread by thread, stitch 'em back together What a mess, got to stop the bleeding drip by drip Making sure the skin heals up nicely Need to make a note to replace that hip Just need to keep in mind my pacing Making sure their organs are in their placing Operation is a success! Yard by yard, look at these intestines, So sublime, don't you know the Quick-Fix saves you time? Need to get your bones in perfect [bad word] So let's hope you never have a fracture Gotta mind those intimate details And just ignore their screams and wails For the Medic knows best! Surgery is easy, I have the tools for the job I am there to help my team win Using wit and skill Oh, that wasn't medicine! Just a rash, don't be such a baby. Lost an eye? Aren't you lucky you didn't die? Making sure your lungs fit in your chest And your heart is new, I must confess And it is me whom you will thank For making you charged up like a tank You'll feel it's sweet carress Use my saw, make a snip fixing limbs, shoulders, hip Aid my team, never rest Fix them up, beat the rest! And that's a Medic's success! ''You are trying my patience!'' Stitch by stitch, fix em back together Endtime looms, don't you know your teammate's always right? Even if my method choice was perfect Never thought things would get so tight Pyro don't go on the offensive! I could have charged up out of sight! Yet we're diving in together! ''Standing near the point does nothing! Get ON the point dumbkopfs!'' Hour by hour, through the games I'm healing them together, but they're such pains Demoman, there's a sniper, are you blind? Engineer, get out the firing line! Mein Gott, [bad word] out of time And their intel's on the other side! Surgery is easy, Doctor's always on call Brings a whole new revision Have to pick up the pace in my division! Medic: Just hold still! This will only hurt for a second! Patient: Doc, are you sure you know what you're doin' with that? Medic: Just relax... now I just need to remove your heart... Patient: What?! AAAAGH! Medic: Now let's see how it withstands the power... oh... Patient: what was that sound? Medic: Um... the sound of progress my friend. Just a moment. Let's try this one. Oo, that looks good. Patient: Doc, should I really be awake for this? Medic: Well... no. But since you are could you move your ribcage just a bit I need to get this... Patient: AAAAAGH! Medic: Oh, don't be such a baby, ribs grow back... even though they don't Patient: what? Medic: Oh nothing! Now let's just patch you up. Patient: Ah, much better. So, what happens now? Medic: Well, time to go practice medicine. Sniper: All we ever want is just a heal-up Scout: What does that crazy doctor know? Heavy: Gotta balance strategy with our tactics Soldier: Even if we do make acrobatics Demoman: Make sure when you charge that you're not bluffin' All: Or we'll be going home in a coffin They just hate my intimidation When I begin their examination! Take that piece, make a snip Fix their heart, shoulders, hip Build up charge, button pressed Battle won, passed the test! And that's a Medic's success! [bad word] over here, I promise I will heal you.''