[Barney:]
I know what you're thinking
What's Barney been drinking, that girl was smoking hot?
Yes I could have nailed her
But no it's not a failure cos there's one thing she is not
To score a 10 would be just fine
But I'd rather be dressed to the nines
It's a [bad word] you can't refuse
Nothing suits me like a suit
Picture a world where all the boys and girls
Are impeccably well dressed
That delivery guy in a jacket and tie
That puppy in a double breast
That 80's dude with mutton chops
That baby with a lollipop
That lady cop who's kinda cute
Nothing suits 'em like a suit

[Ensemble:] [Barney:]
(Suits) Wingman I can wear
(Suits) They're oh so debonair
(Suits) The perfect way to snare a girl with daddy issues
(Suits) In navy, blue or black,
Check out this perfect rack
I want to give them a squeeze

[Marshall:]
Oh really?
Then answer these questions if you please
What would you do if you had to chose
Between your suits and a pot of gold?

[Barney:]
Suits

[Ted:]
What would you say if you gave your suits away
And in return you'd never grow old?

[Barney:]
Suits

[Robin:]
What would you pick? One million chicks or a single three piece suit.

[Barney:]
It's moot.

[Lily:]
What if world peace were within your reach?

[Barney:]
Alalalala! I'm gonna stop you right there.
It's suits.
C'mon Lily.
Get your head outta your [bad word] 
Two! Three! Four!

[Ensemble:]
Girls will go and girls [bad word] but there's only one absolute.
Every Bro on the go needs to know
That there's no accepted substitute.

[Barney:]
I'm sorry suits, let's make amends?
My Sunday best are my best friends.
Send Casual Friday down the laundry chute.

[Ensemble:]
Cos nothing suits
The undisputed
Oft' saluted
Suitor of repute
Like a

[Barney:]
Wait for it-
Suit!

[Ensemble:]
Nothing suits him like a
(suit-up suit-up suit-up suit-up)
Suit!

[Barney:]
Aa