I rise in the morning, and greet the day 
 pull out the bike and I’m on my way 
 The transportation shows I care 
 Every turn of the pedal - cleans the air 

 Greener than green, I’m saving the planet 
 just like my friends Daryl, Sean, Toby and Janet 
 no greenhouse gas, a tiny carbon footprint up your [bad word] 

 I’m on a [bad word] bike 

 Sharing my aggression is what that I do 
 Every day I’m riding the ‘Tour de [bad word] You’ 
 Banging on hoods and kicking in fenders 
 a right-of-way-aholic on a permanent bender 
 [bad word] red lights at the fat intersection 
 Cutout seat protects my erection 
 You like the bird, in my hand? 
 Take two from a [bad word] track stand on my bike 

 I’m on a [bad word] bike 
 I’m on a [bad word] bike 

 Skinny [bad word] pants, the ‘stache is fat 
 the canvas kicks, the ear-flap hat 
 Got no gears so you best not dis me 
 yeah [bad word]  it’s a [bad word] fixie 

 Middle of the street is where you’re gonna find me 
 a [bad word] of traffic backed up behind me 
 Critical Mass is a Facebook “like” 

 I’m on a [bad word] bike 
 I’m on a [bad word] bike