Jingle bells batman smells
robin laid an egg
the batmobile lost it's wheel
and the joker [bad word] your mom

...right in the [bad word] 
Hey, hey little girls and boys
what's on your list for this year
teddy bears and lots of gifts
well too [bad word] bad you greedy little [bad word] 
you're getting razorblades
stockings of hand grenades
and in your sleep tonight
i'm gonna [bad word] on your face

You're not getting anything for 
Christmas you [bad word] [bad word] the milk was sour and the 
cookies sucked
so thanks for nothing, you [bad word] [bad word] 
you're not getting anything for
Christmas you [bad word] [bad word] Santa's [bad word] and he's takin' 
names, and your first in line

(later we'll have some [bad word] pie,
and we'll do some caroling)

PUUUUUUUUUUUT THAAAAAAAAAAAT COOKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE DOWWWWWWN!!!!!!

put that cookie down [bad word] 
"As we all know, Christmas is 
that mystical time of year
when the ghost of Jesus rises
from the grave to feed on the
flesh of the living"

Santa's [bad word] and [bad word] to 
town
he's takin' names and he's throwin'
DOWN

***

5 - severed heads in a box
4 - [bad word] on my [bad word] 3 - beds of nails
2 - bullets
1 - gun

Broken candycanes
stockings of coal and bad grades
you better watch out!

(bend ya ova, imma lube ya up, 
gonna stick that tree right up yo' [bad word] 

Your not getting anything for 
Christmas you [bad word] [bad word] the milk was sour and the 
cookies sucked
so thanks for nothing, you [bad word] [bad word] 
your not getting anything for 
Christmas you [bad word] [bad word] Santa's [bad word] and he's takin'
names, and your first in line

Merry Christmas you filthy animal