Do you go to the dungeon
To find out how to make peace
With your days in the dungeon

Writing a letter to you
Didn't make me feel any more peaceful
Than how I felt when we weren't speaking
Because I didn't cop to what I did
I can't love you 'cause we're supposed to have professional boundaries
I'd Like you to be schooled and in awe
As though you were kissed by God full on the lips
I'm in the front row
The front row with popcorn
I get to see you see you close up
I'm too tired to recount the unpleasantries one by one
One minute i want to banish you the next i want to be on
deserted island with you along with my three favorite cd's ambivalent yet in your bed
We've yet to acknowledge what really happened

Slid into the ditch
I have this overwhelming loss of ambition
We said let's name thirty good reasons
Why we shouldn't be together
I started by saying things like "you smoke"
"You live in new jersey (too far)"
You started saying things like "you belong to the world"
All of which could have been easily refuted
But the conversation was hypothetical I am totally short of breath
For you why can't you shut your stuff off
I'm in the front row
The front row with popcorn
I get to see you see you close up
And I laughed until my lungs hurt I love how you bust my chops
You don't always feel seen sometimes you feel erasable unfortunately
I cannot reciprocate in my current state
I think we should be careful of how much time we spend together

For a while while I'm speaking
You know how much you hate to be [bad word] Maybe spend some time alone
Fill up your proverbial cup so
That it doesn't always have to be about you

I've been wanting your undivided attention
I like the fact that you're nothing like me
Are you not burdened by the lack of
Perspective people have of your charmed life seemingly
I'm in the front row
The front row with popcorn
I get to see you see you close up

You never meant to be ungrateful nor held up to be whipped or wept
For certainly not analyzed prodded at more ways than one
Apparently you've been misrepresented dealing
With the concept of arrows being slung towards your outrageous fortune

Hey I'm not mad at you guardian
I'm mad at myself for spending so much time with you and your Jeckyl and hydeness
I'm glad i figuratively slapped you on the wrist
You laughed a wicked laugh and said [bad word] here let me clip your wings!"

I know he's blood but you can still turn him away
You don't owe him anything

"Raise the roof" he yelled "yeah raise the roof!" I yelled back

Unfortunately you needed a health scare to repriortize

No thanks to the soap box
Having me rile against them won't make an ounce of difference
I'm in the front row
The front row with popcorn
I get to see you see you close up

Oh the things i've done for you many a stitch a friend a man's been left for you
Oh the books i've read for you the tongues i've bitten for you many
new city for you many a risk taken for you (not a single regret