Armed with a whip and a [bad word]  stake, I'm gonna find Count Dracula and seal his fate.
With a one, two, three, HAHAHA!
Annihilatin' zombies on my way to the gate.
It's Simon Belmont, the vampire slaughtera'.
Equipped with holy water and I got enough for all of ya.
I'm callin ya...out. Takin' ya... down.
Killin' you again puttin' you back in the ground.
I'm not [bad word]  around I'll throw a knife in your face.
I'm gonna kick your [bad word] all over the place!
It's a disgrace; and you know that [bad word] , even though in the next game I'll be replaced.
Uhh, whoops! I don't know that yet.
But I'm the illest [bad word]  cracker that you've ever met.
Get it? *whip crack*
That [bad word] is funny.
Now I'm gonna wreck your castle and takes all your money.

I'm gonna take you down...
I'm gonna take and put your pale [bad word] in the ground, 'cause [bad word] 
All this talk is getting on my nerves!
I'll make you eat your words, then I'll eat you for dessert.
You'll never defeat a godlike beast as I... I will make you cry.
You're brave, Mr. Belmont, but you're still a fool!
To think the Prince of Darkness less than [bad word] 
Never underestimate the pain in my heart.
I'll strike you down, and send you back to the start!
Goin' down to Castlevania.
Test me and I'll tear you apart.
Goin' down to Castlevania.
Gonna put this stake inside your-.
Simon Belmont, in the house.
Gonna tear you apart, from the inside out.
Fight off the monsters and make it to the room, where you're gonna meet, YOUR DOOM.
Gonna break it down, gonna stake ya now.
Gonna smash you apart like the Trade Towers.
Gonna go to town, show you who wears the crown.
You and me goin' round 'n round
Don't make me laugh! [bad word] all that [bad word] [bad word]  to get you.
You're gonna wish that I'd never have met you!
So put your neck in my hand, [bad word] 
I'm takin' over this land, [bad word] 
It's goin' down [bad word]  get ready for war.
As I put my foot through your [bad word] door!
Hahaha... yeah.

Oh... Poopface.
I'm gonna get you, [bad word] 
You're going to have to catch me.
I told you before not to [bad word] test me!
You have just made the biggest mistake of your life.
Is that right?
You will die tonight
Look it's been a long day and I'm wearin' down.
Get your [bad word] over here and let's finish this now!
You think you can defeat me? Please.
You're weak in the [bad word] and taste my disease.
Take this knife to the face!
Not my beautiful face!
Your days of [bad word] will soon be erased.
Let's face it, you're falling apart.
How 'bout this stake to the heart?
I'm going to bite you!
Owww! [bad word] 
We're family now.
You're forgetting one thing, Count Chocula... I just put my stake in ya.
Yeah, HAHA...