I'm at the club scene where I met Miss Green Eyes
She said, "I can tell by the size of your schnoz 
That you're Zach Sherwin, and I'm totally TWI!" 
I said, "Oh, you're a Nas fan also? That's great! 
We have so much [bad word]  
We're clearly soulmates who were fated to date!" 
She said "Hold up and wait.
I'm flattered -- [bad word] in too fast and hot though.
You need to be more legato gelato."
I said, "What? Legato gelato?
That's a slang term whose meaning I do not know!
But I'm intrigued by the sound of it..."
She said "Well let me break it down a bit.
You might know the word 'legato' if you've ever studied music before
If you see it written down on a musical score
Then [bad word] is directing you 
To play or sing all the notes smoothly and connected to the others
With no breaks in between 
Now let me demonstrate a little bit and you can see what I mean."

She sang, "Laaa, laaa, laaa: that's legato.
Not, la-la-la; that's staccato. 
The opposite of what legato is.
And don't tell me that you don't know what gelato is!" 

I said, "Yes, I sure do, it's a dessert
That you gotta keep ice cold in the freezer
And now I'm no longer dazed and confused
Now I think I understand the phrase that you used.
Does it mean 'keep it chill?'" She said "Yep."
I said "Thought so. Smooth and cool! Legato gelato!"

Once again, it's legato gelato!
Smooth like legato, cool like gelato!
It's my new catchphrase, it's my new buzzword, it's my new motto: 
Legato gelato.

And check this out: take the word "legato." 
Now take the "l" and the "g" and switch the two spots
And look what you've got. Whoa! 
"Legato" TURNS INTO "gelato!"

I said "Ok, I'm taking things slow and I get the lingo
Can I give you a ring?" 
"No," she said, "I don't think so.
You came on too strong, I felt smothered and 
I need a loverman
Who won't let me have the upper hand." 
I said, "Nah, miss, you got it wrong.
You're a character I made up for my 'Legato Gelato' song.
You don't exist if I don't imagine you.
How 'bout that for high status, boo?"
She said,  [bad word]  Now THAT was legato gelato! 
Way to step it up with that macho bravado!
Take me home now, you wild stallion, 
But first do a victory lap rap as a finale, hon."

I said, "Okay, I'm smooth and glossy, 
And frosty as autumn in Oslo
When the temperature drops as low 
As the cost of shopping at Costco
Fluid and easy and keeping it cool 
Like I'm eating a soup of gazpacho
'Cause I do it legato with a scoop of gelato."