Well, I'm the captain, Mal, my wit is dry,
I may never be a success, but I'm gonna try,
I live by one law: Murphy's -- and you know why, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

Well, I'm the first mate, Zoe, I always survive,
Like my career after Cleopatra 2525.
I'm the hottie who'll kick your [bad word]  and you know why, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

I'm Zoe's husband Wash, I'm one lucky guy,
I'm also the pilot, so shut up and let me fly,
I'm [bad word] relief on the wind, and you know why, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

I'm Jayne, the hero of Canton, I'm one studly guy,
Don't get on my bad side, or you're gonna die,
Oh yeah -- I don't have a good side, and you know why, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

I'm Kaylee the engineer, I know what to do,
I'm the overed grease monkey snarky savant Mary Sue,
I'm in lust with Simple Simon, and you know why, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

I'm Simon, the doctor, and Jayne gets on my nerves,
If he doesn't shut up, I'll make sure he gets what he deserves:
I'll lock him in a room with my sister, and you know why, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

I'm River...
I think...
There's a 29.22% chance that this verse won't scan,
But rewriting it in iambic -- oooh, dancing!

I'm Inara, [bad word]  in love with Mal -- who knows why,
He always calls me a [bad word]  I guess he's shy --
And nothing will ever happen, 'cause so am I, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah...

I'm Shepherd Book, the token... religious guy,
I've got a great left hook and I think like a spy.
All that Barney Miller paid off, and you know why, yay-hey,
I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly, I'm on Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

Well, I'm Joss Whedon, the creator, yeah, that's me,
The only one [bad word] is J. Michael Straczynski.
I thank you all for watching Serenity, yay-hey,
Buy my DVD, buy my DVD, buy my DVD.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

I'm Brannon Braga, and I'm the Star Trek guy,
Forty years of franchise, and you can kiss it goodbye,
Joss got it right in one -- I hate that guy, yay-hey,
He did Firefly, he did Firefly, he did Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....

Well, now this song is done, time to say goodbye,
It's been a lot of fun, but I've gotta fly,
I've set aside fifteen hours, and you know why, yay-hey,
To watch Firefly, to watch Firefly, to watch Firefly.
Yada-dah-dah-dah-dah....