i remember my fathers hand 
holding my wrinkled hair 
i knew it was plausible fib 
dead dog controled the pit 
in the garden with ivory and oaks 
i tried to live without the words 
that grew in my heart like flowless grass 
now in my room i see the leaves 
the [bad word] hot summer 
led into the long hard fall 
 [bad word] the dark killing winter 
until spring replenished us all