I like games they're hot to turn on
You can cheat em and they don't get [bad word] when you're gone [bad word] em; they don't hang around wanting more
And the only thing that matters is to get top score

Girlfriends just whine and [bad word] and moan
But I can get more pleasure when I'm sitting on my own
Girlfriends just [bad word] and moan and whine
Get out my [bad word] room [bad word] READ THE SIGN

I don't wanna take Pebbles for a walk in the street
I don't wanna take you dancing 'cause IT HURTS MY FEET [bad word] my friends understand when I feel [bad word] off?
I wanna put my [bad word] in Lara Croft

Videogames are better than girlfriends
Cause you don't have to do things to keep them happy
You just play them
And have numerous amounts of fun

Maybe life would be better as a videogame
I could ride a dragon through the sky like a plane
I could solve a problem with a fight to the death
For the last can of beans or a glimse of a breast

I'd get paper from robbing all the banks
Up, down, left, right, turn... gets a tank
RSI, on my thumbs from Call Of Duty
I'd rather shoot my load at a virtual booty

I don't wanna give advice on your newest dress
I don't wanna wear a trilby GIVE IT REST [bad word] my friends understand when I feel [bad word] off?
I wanna put my dongle in Microsoft

Videogames are better than girlfriends
Cause you don't have to think of a conversation
You just look at 'em
And turn 'em off when you're bored and done

My time with Mario
Is better than time with you
You can call me a saddo
But it's all I want to do

I'm scared of bajingas
They make me want to hurl
As long as I have fingers
I'll never need a girl