Mike:
See, I really couldn't sing.
I could never really sing.
What I couldn't do was..

Tina:
Sing!

Mike:
I have trouble with a...

Tina:
Note!

Mike:
It goes all around my...

Tina:
Throat!

Mike:
It's a terrifying...

Tina:
Thing!

Mike:
See, I really couldn't hear which note was lower or was...

Tina:
Higher!

Mike:
Which is why I disappear
If someone says, "Let's start a...

Tina:
Choir!"

Mike:
Hey, when I begin to...

Tina:
Squeak!

Mike:
It's a cross between a...

Tina:
Shriek!

Mike:
And a quiver or a...

Tina:
Moan!

Mike:
It's a little like a...

Tina:
Croak!

Mike:
Or the record player...

Tina:
Broke!

Mike:
What it doesn't have is...

Tina:
Tone!

Mike:
Oh, I know, you're thinking, "What a crazy...

Tina:
Ding-a-ling,"

Mike:
But I really couldn't...

Tina:
Sing!

Mike:
I could never really...

Tina:
Sing!

Mike:
What I couldn't do was...

Tina:
Sing!
Three blind mice

Mike:
Three blind mice!
It isn't intentional

Tina:
He's doing his best!
Jingle bells, jingle bells

Mike:
Jingle bells, jingle bells!
It really blows my mind

Tina:
He gets depressed

Mike:
But what I lack in pitch
I sure make up in...

Tina:
Power

Mike:
And all my friends say I am perfect for the shower!
Still, I'm terrific at a...

Tina:
Dance!

Mike:
'Cause I'm messing up my...

'Tina:
Pants!

Mike:
I'm a birdie on the...

Tina:
Wing!

Mike:
But when I begin to...

Tina:
Chirp!

Mike:
They say,"Who's the little...

Tina:
Twerp!

Mike:
Goin' 'pong' instead of...

Tina:
'Ping'!"

Mike:
And when [bad word]  and all my friends go...

Tina and New Directions:
Caroling...

Mike:
It is so dishearten-

Tina:
Ning!

Mike:
It is so disquiet-

Tina:
Ting!

Mike:
It is so discourag-

Tina:
Ging!

Mike:
Darling, please stop answer-

Tina:
Ring!

Mike:
See, I really couldn't

Tina:
Sing!

Mike:
I could never really

Tina:
Sing!

Mike:
What I couldn't do was

New Directions:
Do re mi fa sol la ti do
Do re mi fa sol la ti do
La

Mike:
La!

New Directions:
La

Mike:
La!

New Directions:
Sing, sing, sing
Sing, sing, sing...

Mike:
Sing!

New Directions:
Sing!