I've posed for pictures with Iv'ry Soap,
 I've petted stray dogs, and shied clear of dope
(I've petted stray dogs, and I never mope)*
 My smile is brilliant, my glance is tender
 But I'm noted most for my unspoiled gender

I've been made Miss Reingold, though I never touch beer,
(I've been named Miss Perseverance year after year,)*
 And I'm the person to whom they say, "Your sweet, My Dear."
 The only etchings I've seen have been behind glass,
 And the closest I've been to a bar, is at ballet class.

Prim and proper, the girl who's never been cased,
 I'm tired of being pure and not chased.
 Like something that seeks it's level
 I wanna go to the devil.

Refrain
 I wanna be evil, I wanna spit tacks
 I wanna be evil, and cheat at jacks 
 I wanna be wicked, I wanna tell lies
 I wanna be mean, and throw mud pies

I want to wake up in the morning
 with that dark brown taste
 I want to see some dissipation in my face 
 I wanna be evil, I wanna be mad
 But more that that I wanna be bad

I wanna be evil, and [bad word] an ace, 
 Just to see my partner's face.
 I wanna be nasty, I wanna be [bad word] 
 I wanna be daring, I wanna shoot pool 

And in the theatre 
 I want to change my seat
 Just so I can step on 
 Everybody's feet 

I wanna be evil, I wanna hurt flies 
 I wanna sing songs like the guy who cries
 I wanna be horrid, I wanna drink booze
(I want to be horrid, I want to make news)*
 And whatever I've got I'm eager to lose

I wanna be evil, little evil me
 Just as mean and evil as I can be