NIGEL (spoken):
Nick, just read it
I really think I'm on to something here

NICK (spoken):
I am reading
And where's the omelette?

NIGEL (spoken):
There is no omelette!

NICK (spoken):
What do you mean there's no omelette?
There has to be an omelette
It's called Omelette!

NIGEL (spoken)
Ahh!
Are you hearing yourself? (What?)
Nick, are you hearing yourself? (Yes)
I can't believe we're having a conversation about a story that has to be all about eggs (So?)
Eggs! (Yes)
What is it with you and these eggs?

NICK:
You just have to [bad word] me
I know what I'm doing

NIGEL:
I think that you're out of your mind if you think that pursuing that is a good thing

NICK:
Well I do

NIGEL:
Okay, well I don't

ENSEMBLE MEMBER (spoken):
Read him this part, it's beautiful

NIGEL (spoken):
Doesn't matter, he won't listen

WILL (spoken):
I should really take these before this turns ugly

ENSEMBLE MEMBER (spoken):
Just read him what you wrote

NICK (spoken):
What the [bad word] are they talking about?

NIGEL (spoken):
You asked me to write something, well here it is
Sure as the day follows the night
Sure as the sky turns to blue
This much I know
This much is [bad word] Above all else, whatever you do

NIGEL & ENSEMBLE:
To thine own self be [bad word] 
NICK (spoken):
That's it?

Troupe (spoken):
It's beautiful
It's like good line and good advice

WILL (spoken):
I don't know
I thought the whole breakfast theme was really strong
Everyone loves breakfast

NICK (spoken):
Exactly!
But there's no Danish, there's no ham, there's no breakfast at all! [bad word] ignoring the theme

NIGEL (spoken):
I'm ignoring the breakfast theme because it's ridiculous

NICK:
Oh, are you hearing yourself? (Nick!)
I said, are you hearing yourself? (Yes)
I can't believe you're trying to change direction
Because you decided that my ideas are wrong (Please)
I'm wrong
And this [bad word] to yourself thing is right?

NIGEL:
That's not just a line
It's what I believe

NICK:
Then you are a fool and really naive
If you think it's as simple as that

NIGEL:
Well I do

Nick:
Okay well I don't

ENSEMBLE (in background):
So what do we do x5

NIGEL (spoken):
Ah, this is hopeless
I don't know how to get through to you
Nick, the fact that you think Omelette is good,
It worries me
Guys, can you help me out here

ENSEMBLE MEMBER (spoken):
You really should listen to him, Nick
It just makes your heart wanna soar

ENSEMBLE :
Sure as the day follows the night
Sure as the sky turns to blue
This much I know
This much is [bad word] Above all else, whatever you do
To thine own self be [bad word] 
NICK (spoken):
Want some [bad word] 
Here's the [bad word] Omelette will be known as perhaps the single greatest play ever written

NIGEL (spoken):
How can you possibly know that?

NICK (spoken):
I just do

ENSEMBLE (in background):
So what do we do  х5

NICK (spoken):
This will be talked about for generations [bad word] We need a hit
Not some audience-repelling death play about your descent into madness

NIGEL (spoken):
This descent into madness, that's you
Nick, I mean it
Whatever happened to the guy who inspired me to [bad word] a writer?

NICK (spoken):
He finally has a great idea
Now, we open in a week
Are you going to help me write Omelette or not?

NIGEL (spoken):
No

NICK (spoken):
No?

NIGEL:
I can't
It doesn't feel right
And deep down, I don't think it feels right to you either

ENSEMBLE (in background):
So what do we do x4

NICK:
I'll tell you what we do
We serve up what they're hungry for
Omelette the musical

We're on our way to glory
We'll play for kings and queens
And there and then they'll see the end will justify the means

ENSEMBLE:
The end will justify the means!
Sure as the day follows the night

NICK:
Surely we must see this through (Okay, if you say so)
Damned if I don't (Don't!)
Damned if I do (Do!) [bad word] it, I don't have the luxury to
Hang all my hope on some simplistic trope
Like to thine own self (To thine own self)
Be [bad word] 
ENSEMBLE MEMEBER:
Oh God, I hope what he's saying is [bad word] 
ENSEMBLE:
Please be [bad word] Please be [bad word] Please be [bad word]