your ashes adorn my neck 
beside where i received 
the touch of god 
from a god that never 
cared for me 
came to exist 
loved me. 

Loss and what follows  [bad word]  
alparazolam. 
Clearing 
All the shackled 
Memories loose. 
How could a mother, 
Do that to her son? 

Now i hate mostly 
Everything and everyone 
The sound these 
Voices make as 
They beg for god 
To hear them 
To fear them. 

smile doesn't 
Match a face 
heart filled 
By religious chaste 
Put them in water 
Make them drown 
With a badge 
Reading I believed 
I believed 
I believed 
"At least I believed" 

around them, i worry 
about footing within 
the family and what 
we refuse to believe 
we lost. 
the matriarch, some 
were gifted to call their mother 
a home to show our children 
one to relive the youth 
we lost. 

I will never kneel. 
I will never bow, 
my head as a sign, 
of respect and appreciation. 

Your god means nothing to me 
His son means nothing to me