Up rolled the riot van
And sparked excitement in the boys
But the policemen look annoyed
Perhaps these are ones they should avoid

They got a chase last night from men with [bad word] s dressed in hats
They didn't do that much wrong, still ran away though for the laugh

"Please just stop talking
Because they won't find us if you do
Oh those silly boys in blue
Well they won't catch me and you"

"Have you been drinking son, you don't look old enough to me"
"I'm sorry officer is there a certain age you're supposed to be?: nobody told me"

Up rolled the riot van
And these lads just wind the coppers up
Ask why they don't catch proper crooks
Get their address and their name's took
But they couldn't care less

He got thrown in the riot van
And all the coppers kicked him in
And there was no way he could win
Just had to take it on the chin