Link (Arin):
"Aw yeah.
It's me, Link again, baby.
That's right I'm back!
Last time I quested for Zelda I got a little off track.
But now my confidence is at an all-time high
Because Navi just anointed me the 'Hero of Rhyme!'"

Navi (Dan):
"I said the 'Hero of Time!'"

Link (Arin):
That's right the Hero of Rhyme!
I don't need no sword or shield I'm gonna be just fine.

Navi (Dan):
Hey, listen I think-

Link (Arin):
Shhh. 
I've got my beats and jams!
I'm taking Ganon down now,
No thanks to you, Old Man!

Old Man (Dan):
What?!

Villager (Dan):
Link, thank God you're here, the countryside is terrified and shocked!
We're [bad word] with darknuts, peahats, leevers, gels, and octorocks! 
You're our hero of the ages with a sword and helping hand!
We really need your skills!

Link (Arin):
Oh you need my skills?
Aw [bad word] 
Moblins: no problem and octorocks don't know poppycock!
Gotta get that Triforce tomorrow, but first I gotta do my pop and lock!
When I see an iron knuckle imma buckle up my pants 
Cuz those [bad word] don't [bad word] around when I kick on my Z-target dance!
But see, with me, I've gotta find a different way to defeat.
Don't use my sword and shield but I know this flow is good enough to kill.
The Hylian people rejoice: cuz your hero is the illest [bad word]  rapper with the illest [bad word]  voice!
How was that?
Those raps do anything for you?

Villager (Dan):
OH GOD EVERYONE IS DEAD!

Link (Arin):
Moving right along to Ganon's underground layer.

Villager (Dan):
EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE!

Link (Arin):
Don't worry, I'm not scared.
I'll save all of [bad word] with the tastiest rhymes I can spare.
Now watch and learn, Navi!

Navi (Dan):
You're a stupid piece of [bad word] 

Link (Arin):
Wanna go Ganon? Get your pig [bad word] over here and try me!
Just ignore the burning hellscape that's collapsing in behind me.
You have never seen a rapper close to my skills whatsoever!
Oh I see you brought a giant glowing sword. 
That's cool, whatever.
Cuz, hey! 
I'm gonna be the last thing you see when you lose against me here in [bad word] of the city.
Yeah, ah! No bigger battle than here cuz by the time you swing your sword I'm gonna- 
Oh! 
Woah. 
Chill out!
Gotta fill out this sword was born for a partner who can, maybe, I don't [bad word] out and help me out in a real bout!

Navi (Dan):
Hey listen, link! 
Your rapping doesn't stink, but Ganon's standing right there with a giant sword-

Link (Arin):
Ooooooohh.
Ooooohh.
Tsssss.
Ooohh.