Well I know there's lots of kinds of love in the world
and they're not all romantic and not all for boys and girls
but what we have doesn't have strict definition
because I love you just as much as I hate my college tuition
and we're basically like dating but without all the romance
don't get me wrong, I think you're pretty, but I don't want in your pants
it's just that
I'm in best friend love with you
so I wrote this song for you
And I know you think it's weird, it's [bad word] 
but I'm in best friend love with you
and I think we should go all the way
in the 100% friendzoned way
and I can't get you out of my head
and as long as we're in separate beds
I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with you 
like maybe we would work if we're single or we're [bad word] 
but what I'm really trying to say
is I don't love you like Shang loved Mulan
you're more like the Robin Hood to my Little John
and I love you like autotune loves T-Pain
like a prostitute loves crack cocaine
I love you like Batman wished his parents hadn't died
like Anne Frank wanted to [bad word] go outside
you're more than my best friend, you're my partner in crime
that I'd never ever make out with
(except for that one time)
And I know you think it's weird, it's [bad word] 
but I'm in best friend love with you
and I think we should go all the way
in the 100% friendzoned way
and I can't get you out of my head
and as long as we're in separate beds
I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with you 
whoaaaa, best friend love
don't need no love-glove with best friend love