Ho Ho
When it's Christmas time
everybody's waiting in a big [bad word] line
To sit on my lap
And beg for Elmo's, i-pads, and [bad word] 
Brats are outta control
my elves are doing nothing but shoveling coal
Older girls sit on me
And get their picture taken ironically
Girl look at that belly
Like a bowl full of jelly
As seen on the telly
It sticks out
 [bad word] down your chimney
Though it don't quite fit me
Why do I smell kindling?
Put it out
My doctor told me I had diabetes
That's what happens when you eat a hundred billion cookies
I still deliver all this booty.
It don't matter if its drizzling, freezing, sleeting, blowing, snowing
I'm Santa and I know it
I'm Santa and I know it
I got a big ole gut
I ain't nutcracker but do bust nuts
Girls love the taste
Of my sugarplums and my candy cane
I got a list of naughty's
It's pretty much a listing of all my shawty's
Wait Let me explain it
Mrs. Claus and I have a special arrangement
I'm jolly and burely
I [bad word] early
I'm stuffing your turkey
Check it out
When ladies get nippy
I'm making deliverys
From Dallas to Sydney
Then I'm out
Single moms are friendly
Every Christmas eve
When the [bad word] to and end my sack is always empty
Got a 9 inch beard, and I ain't afraid to grow it, blow it, show [bad word] it, stroke it
I'm Santa and I Know it
I'm Santa and I Know it
Jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle bells
Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle elves [bad word] Cupid donner [bad word] sail
I'm Santa and I know it