[Petyr Baelish] [bad word] to King's Landing, a city of kings and whores where anything can happen
[Grand Master Pycelle]
Yes, quite right
[Varys]
Do be careful, cause [bad word] s about to get real

[Robert Baratheon]
Hoooo...well I'm the [bad word]  king
Robert Baratheon, wrathful and nasty
When I drop the [bad word]  hammer, invade like a pathogen
Now give me three whores so I can smack that [bad word] again
And build a bigger orphanage to put all my [bad word] in
My wife's a brother [bad word] and a straight up [bad word] Who gave me three blonde [bad word] But her daddy's rich
Wine!
All this [bad word] lickin's makin' me sick
I thank the gods that a boar put a tusk through my pancreas

[Cersei Lannister]
I gestated my bro's DNA
[Tyrion Lannister]
Not mine!
[Cersei]
Thought my inbred kids were okay
[Ned Stark]
Seriously?
[Cersei]
But I'm afraid that...
[Ned & Tyrion]
Joffrey is a half-wit, demented, sadistic piece of [bad word] 
[Joffrey Baratheon]
You better say that I'm the king or I'll chop off your head
And put your genitals in the genital jar I keep in a drawer beside my bed
[Sansa Stark]
Your Grace?
[Joffrey]
Yes, give her a gift, hit her in the face
[Sansa]
Why?!
[Joffrey}
Women are so weak and weary, bring her back when she has her period
Burn the traitors [bad word] the North
Kill the babies [bad word] the poor
I'm so bored with cutting out tongues but I'm getting it done mutilating whores
[Margaery Tyrell]
Is this your's?
[Joffrey]
Yes, it is
[Margaery]
Talk about killing I love that [bad word] Stabbing, hacking, blood and guts
[Joffrey]
Hold on, I'm about to [bad word] 
[Varys]
Sadly, I cannot
[Pycelle]
No [bad word]  quite right
[Baelish]
sorcerer cut off your junk, we know
At least it wasn't your head
[Varys]
Poor Ned Stark, what will the North do?
[Pycelle]
My [bad word] is like baking soda
[Varys]
The Stark bannermen?
[Baelish]
Why are they so [bad word] happy?

[Stark Bannermen]
Oh [bad word] yeah!
What what!
Northside!
All hail King in the North, Robb Stark!
[Robb Stark]
Yeah, yeah!
We fight for independence, its a glorious day
Cause I married for love, and its cool with the Freys!
Yo we're heading to a wedding, gonna party today
And I'm gonna be a dad, god everything's great!
[Catelyn Stark]
Winter [bad word] [Robb]
So we'll hang out inside!
[Catelyn]
But Winterfell burned down, Robb
[Robb]
Well, look on the bright side
Lemme hear my Starks are we doin' alright?!
[Bran Stark]
Father's dead, we're homeless, and I'm crippled for life
[Rickon Stark]
I'm hungry
[Arya Stark]
I'm alone in the middle of the war
[Sansa]
I loved the [bad word] boy but I married the dwarf
[Robb]
See, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout, we're havin' a ball!
[Lysa Arryn]
I'm gonna breastfeed Robin until my [bad word] fall off!
[Northern girls]
We are the north!
[Robb]
Brienne, how's it goin' with the Kingslayer?
[Brienne]
Rapists have me and I'm fighting a bear!
[Robb]
Cool, how's it hanging Theon?
[Theon Greyjoy]
REALLY BAD!
[Arya]
I met a lady who had demons in her vag!
[Northern Hook]
We are the North side, ay!
Doin' it our own way!
[Robb]
Hey, it's my boy Jon Snow! What up Jon!

[Samwell Tarly]
Um, hello...we have a bit of a problem here at the wall...
It's...it's a bit nippy and...well...
[Jon Snow]
THERE'S [bad word] WHITE WALKERS [bad word] s crazy, I'm freezin' to death
With thieves and rapers, had to swear off 
If I could take it back, I'd take the black and shove it up Craster's [bad word] but it's too late for that
With zombies surgin' south
[Samwell]