Way out in Old Nevada, where the [bad word] s waters flow,
Where the cattle are “a-browzin’,” an’ the Spanish ponies grow;
Where the Northers [bad word] a-whistlin’” from beyond the Neutral Strip;
And the prairie dogs are sneezin’, as if they had “The Grip”;
Where the [bad word] a-howlin’ ‘round the ranches after dark,
And the bluebirds are a-singin’ to the lovely “meadow lark”;
Where the bighorns are a-grazin’ and the lonely plovers call—
It was there that I attended “The Cowboys’ Christmas Ball.”

The boys had left the ranches [bad word] to town in piles;
The ladies—”kinda scatterin’”—had gathered in for miles..
The room was togged out gorgeous-with mistletoe and shawls,
And candles flickered frescoes, around the airy walls.
The “wimmin folks” looked lovely-the boys looked kinda treed,
Till their leader got to yellin’: “Whoa! fellers, let’s stampede,”
And the music started sighin’, an’ awailin’ through the hall
As a kind of introduction to “The Cowboys’ Christmas Ball.”

Their leader was a feller that came from Swenson’s ranch,
They called him “Windy Billy,” from “little Deadman’s Branch.”
His rig was “kinda careless,” big spurs and high-heeled boots;
He had the reputation [bad word] when “a fellers shoots.”
His voice was like a bugle upon the mountain’s height;
His feet were animated an’ a mighty, movin’ sight,
When [bad word] to hollerin’, “Now, fellers stake your pen!
“Lock horns ter all them heifers, [bad word] ‘em like men.
“Saloot yer lovely critters; now swing an’ let ‘em go,
“Climb the grape vine ‘round ‘em—all hands do-ce-do!
“You Mavericks, join the round-up- Just skip her waterfall,”
Huh! hit wuz gettin’ happy, “The Cowboys’ Christmas Ball!”

Don’t tell me ‘bout cotillions, or germans. No sire ‘ee!
That whirl at Anson City just takes the cake with me.
I’m sick of lazy shufflin’s, of them I’ve had my fill,
Just Give me a frontier break-down, backed up by Wild Bill.
McAllister ain’t nowhar: when Windy leads the show,
I’ve seen ‘em both in harness, and so I sorta know—
Oh, Bill, I sha’n’t forget yer, and I’ll oftentimes recall,
That lively gaited sworray—”The Cowboys’ Christmas Ball.”
Oh, Bill, I sha’n’t forget yer, and I’ll oftentimes recall,
That lively gaited sworray—”The Cowboys’ Christmas Ball.