The roads are the dustiest, the winds are the gustiest
The gates are [bad word]  the pies are the [bad word] The songs the lustiest, the friends the [bad word] Way back home
(Back home)

The trees are the sappiest, the days are the nappiest
The dogs are the yappiest, the kids are the scrappiest
The jokes the snappiest, the folks the happiest
Way back home

Don't know why I left the homestead
I really must confess
I'm a weary exile
Singing my song of loneliness

The grass is the springiest, the bees are the stingiest
The birds are the wingiest, the bells are the ringiest
(The hearts) the hearts the singiest
(The arms) the arms the clingiest
Way back home

(What about the sun?) The sun's the blaziest
(And the fields?) The fields the daisiest
(And the cows?) The cows the graziest
(And the help?) The help's the laziest
The boys (are the wittiest)
The girls (are the prettiest)
Way back home

(The pigs are the snootiest, the owls are the hootiest)
The plants the [bad word]  the stars the shootiest
(The grins the funniest), the smiles the sunniest
Way back home

Don't know why I left the homestead
I really must confess
I'm a weary exile
Singing my song of loneliness

The food is the spreadiest, the wine is the headiest
The pals are the readiest, the gals are the steadiest
The love the liveliest, the life the loveliest
Way back, way back, way back, home
(No place like home)
Sweet home