Mettaton:
So [bad word] back to this metal attack
With a human losing their soul tonight, that's a fact!
They cannot scream, they cannot hope or dream
Tonight's proceedings do not work like that!

Alphys:
I'm so sorry!

Mettaton:
Good doctor, do not be!
It's the chance of a lifetime to get to see me!
Now sit down, little one, this is going to be fun
You will be a star, then you'll burn like one!

Now let's see my name in lights, my dear!
You'll wish you'd be up there with me!
Hope you put up a good fight, my dear
No one's stopped this celebrity!

Alphys:
Please keep calm
There's no cause for alarm
He's a really sweet guy
Though he means you harm

Mettaton:
I've got style, I've got grace
Now get out of my face
For it won't be long
Until you buy the farm
Don't even try
"I am such a swell guy!"

Alphys:
I just don't think it's right
To make a little kid cry

Mettaton:
No one asked you, Alphys! We're rolling, quiet please!
It's the role of a lifetime, tonight they die!

Now please don't be
Afraid, my dear
You're swell, you're fab
And I'm beauty
They'll throw me a huge parade, my dear
Once machinery kicks your booty!

Alphys:
Okay, okay, just... calm down! I made Mettaton... I know how to work around him! All you have to do is-

Mettaton:
Ah, ah, ah, doctor! No cheating!
No, no, no, dear doctor, it's my show
And we can't have you interfere!
Stick [bad word] and watch tonight's show
Same time, same channel, I'll be here!
 [bad word] call me when you want ACTUAL dramatic tension!
Have a nice pilot! Goodbye!