JOIN THE BRITISH ARMY 

        When I was young I used to be as fine a man as ever you'd see; 
        The Prince of Wales, he said to me, [bad word] and join the British army." 
        Too ra loo ra loo ra loo, they're looking for monkeys up in the zoo 
        If I had a face like you, I would join the British army. 

        Sarah Camdon baked a cake; it was all for poor old Slattery's sake. 
        I threw meself into the lake, pretending I was balmy. 
        Too ra loo ra loo ra loo, 'twas the only thing that I could do 
        To work my ticket home to you and leave the British army. 

        Corporal Seachan is a terrible man, just give him a couple of jars of 
        stout; 
        He will kill the enemy with his mouth and save the British Army. 
        Too ra loo ra loo ra loo, Me curse is on the Labour crew; 
        They took your darling boy from you to join the British army. 

        Captain Heeley went away and his wife got in the family way, 
        And all the words that she would say was " Blame the British Army." 
        Too ra loo ra loo ra loo, I've made me mind up what to do 
        I'll work my ticket home to you and ...! the British army.