She works downtown in an unmarked bar, 
Flyin' round poles she always gave me the fright of my life 
I didn't mean to get involved it was the alcohol 
Mixed with and empty feeling inside 
Its such a bad idea to fall in love with a 'lady of the night' 

Why didn't God give her two left feet 
Then she [bad word] away from me! 

Months go by and I'm alone in bed 
While she's greasing up for when the businessmen and lawyers arrive 
I've got to wear a beard a suit and tie 
To get past the door if I want to see my girl tonight 
I go to all this effort just to see my fair Patricia going home with some other guy 

Why didn't God give her two left feet 
Then she [bad word] away from me! 
Why didn't God give her two left feet 
then she [bad word] away from me! 

She thinks I'm sad and that's alright 
But she doesn't hate me so there's my little alibi 
I can't, I can't leave, I can't I can't I can't 
She's my coked-up botox girl 

Patricia, Patricia 
Oh Patricia the Stripper you are my sunshine 
Oh Patricia the [bad word] on home tonight 
Oh Patricia the Stripper you are my sunshine 
So why can't [bad word] home with me tonight?