Gather round, ye children
To hear the tale so sweet
Of a man who dared to race machines
With nothing but his feet

Marshall!
Versus the machines...

As Marshall ran with all his might
And passed his friend, Christine
He thought of all the times that he had
Beaten the machine:

He triumphed over Pinball
He vanquished the alarm
He brought the jukebox back to life

With his Fonzarelli arm

Marshall!
Versus the machines...

Move along! Yah!
Move along! Yah!

Our hero's strength was fading fast
Just as the light turnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.....ed green
He then thought back to all the times
He'd lost to a machine:

The cable box's fearsome bite
The stapler's mighty sting
The cable box's bite again

Getting too tired
To sing