Read it in the paper
Marked the date on the wall
To remind myself to celebrate
The day I lose it all
They made plans to be together
I made plans to be alone
She got a rock
I’m gettin’ stoned
 [bad word] right I’ve got objections
But it’s awful too late now
Yeah, the cans are on the limo
And the rice is on the ground
They’re headed for the islands
But [bad word] I’m already gone
She got a rock
I’m gettin’ stoned

Here’s to happy ever after
And here’s to balls and chains
And Here’s to all us haters 
Of old lovers new last names
And here’s to holdin’ up
And gettin’ right where I belong
She got a rock
I’m gettin’ stoned

Yeah I knew that it was over
When I heard those wedding bells
That preacher was my jailer
Now this bottle is my bail
So much for all that prayin’,
Her I do would be I don’t
She got a rock
I’m gettin’ stoned

Here’s to happy ever after
And here’s to balls and chains
And here’s to all us haters 
Of old lovers new last names
And here’s to holdin’ up
And gettin’ right where I belong
She got a rock
I’m gettin’ stoned

So to [bad word] with her and him 
And the white horse the rode out on
She got a rock
I’m gettin’ stoned
Yeah she got a rock
Ha ha ha
I’m gettin’ stoned
Yeah I’m gettin’ stoned
 [bad word] on