I woke up Christmas morning
and ran down to the tree
There was one little box
waiting there for me
Was it shiny new bling?
7 karat diamond ring?
Was it keys to a new crib
that Santa Claus did give?
Delivered to me
from the North Pole
was a great, big, dirty, old
lump of coal!

I admit I was shocked
I was really surprised
But after a while
I began to realize
The reason was simple
The reason was clear
I've been a very naughty girl this year!

Santa won't bring me gold hoops for my ear
'cause I've been a very naughty girl this year
Santa won't bring me a supply of butterbeer
'cause I've been a very naughty girl this year
It's really kinda whack that I ain't got jack
'cause I've been a very naughty girl this year

(Flick) Yo Astoria! Were you really so bad?
Why did you make mum and daddy so mad?

I was just being Slytherin
We like to have fun
I never really meant
to harm no one

I cursed some first-years
who were being such pests
I lied to my professors
I cheated on tests

I hexed a few Hufflepuffs
because that's what they fo'
I petrified a Gryffindor
who called me a ho'

I snuck out of the dorms
after curfew
to meet Draco Malfoy
for a midnight rendezvous

I started a food fight
in the Great Hall
I played a game of quidditch
with Neville's remembrall

I went skinny dipping
in the Black Lake
Put a puking pastille
in Pansy's birthday cake

Santa won't bring me gold hoops for my ear
'cause I've been a very naughty girl this year
Santa won't bring me a supply of butterbeer
'cause I've been a very naughty girl this year
It's really kinda whack that I ain't got jack
'cause I've been a very naughty girl this year

I mugged a muggle named Dudley
'cause he looked at me funny
I maxed out his credit cards
and spent all his money

I smuggled fire whiskey
into [bad word] room
Did a fly-by jinxing
on a stolen broom

I ain't even sorry
I got no remorse
I only regret getting caught
Of course

I don't even care
That Santa gave me coal
I'm a ride-or-die witch
and that's how I roll

Santa won't bring me gold hoops for my ear
'cause I've been a very naughty girl this year
Santa won't bring me a supply of butterbeer
'cause I've been a very naughty girl this year
It's really kinda whack that I ain't got jack
'cause I've been a very naughty girl this year