— Literally anything could be hiding in the dark. Anything.

I’m not afraid of the dark
I’m afraid of what’s in the dark
That I cannot see 
Because it’s so dang dark (so dang dark)

There might be a ghost 
In the dark
That’s pretty unlikely
But there definitely could be a slippery spot
And that’s arguably even more frightening.
There might be
sudden level change
Like an unexpected step down
Your foot is still up in the air 
When your brain thought it’d be on the ground by now.

There might be some fungus
‘Cause they like it where it’s dark and moist.
Wait, are we talking about mushrooms?
Athlete’s foot but you make a good point.
‘Cause some mushrooms are deadly
And in the dark I might be fooled
But it’s not like you have to eat it.
But you know how much I love mushrooms.

I’m not afraid of the dark
I’m afraid of what’s in the dark
That I cannot see 
Because it’s so dang dark (so dang dark)

There could be two fractions in the dark
And they need to be added together
But I don’t remember how to add fractions
And I don’t have a calculator
There might be a jury summons
And it says you gotta go in on your birthday
Gonna have to look at murder photos 
While I’m trying to enjoy my ice cream cake.
There could be a brand new home.
Congratulations! 
But they started fracking at the edge of my neighborhood 
And now my home is depreciated.
What if there’s a blank canvas?
Where do I even start?
And is it even worth the risk?
Who am I? Should I go back to law school?

I’m not afraid of the dark
I’m afraid of what’s in the dark
That I cannot see 
Because it’s so dang dark (so dang dark)

— Maybe this isn't such a good idea.
— Bud there's boba on the other side. We gotta ride the tuck.
— Ride the tuck for the boba.

Original video: youtu.be/58A-TI3AsV8
 [bad word] rhett_and_link)