One fine day as I was a-walkin' down the street
Spied a beggar man with rags upon his feet
Took a penny from my pocket
In his tin cup I did drop it
I heard him say as I made my retreat
 [bad word] "May the bird of paradise fly up your nose"
"May an elephant caress you with his toes"
"May your wife be plagued [bad word] in her hose"
"May the bird of paradise fly up your nose"

The laundry man is really on his toes
Found a hundred-dollar bill among my clothes
When he called me I came [bad word] 
Gave him back his dime for phonin'
I heard him sayin' as I turned to go
 [bad word] 
I was way behind one day to catch the train
Taxi driver said "We'll make it just the same"
The speed cop made it with us
And as he wrote out the ticket
I stood by politely a-waitin' for my change
 [bad word]  [bad word] 
FADE
 [bad word]