"My Letter"

This is my letter to you

We started following a certain description.
We started simple and fair once again
Before there wasn't any need for an answer
Things were much different then
 [bad word] 
But now you question who I am.
Who I am inside
Now there's nothing left to hide.
So here it goes
This is my letter
Hope you're alright. It's been rough for me
thinking all night. About the places I'd be
If I maybe, just did a little bit more you might've
Let me, [bad word] a man for sure
And if I might, express one concern it seems an
issue. All day at every turn
What's the next step, the latest hole in my life
What's next for me to learn

Engulf myself into a permanent mystery.
No one day just as the next.
not for me
It's so confusing when I look at my history.
I just can't handle that yet.
No
 [bad word] 

One more friendship ends.
And then for awhile.
I can breathe again
 [bad word]