Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist

TRINA:
Darling, please see a psychiatrist.
He doesn't bite, and he might
Help you understand
Why you are so angry and despised
By all those guys
Who have not been, they have not been analyzed.

Yet, sweetheart, please do not get hysterical.
Reason will win the day, [bad word] me!
Mother never lies.
No one is saying you're a sick neurotic,
But you could find some help.
Hear me out, please.
Yes, you could find some help,
He could help you realize

How confused you are!
Yes, it's very clear.
Daddy's sincere, but a schmo!
You and I must [bad word] our emotions,
Make [bad word] 
Will you go'

JASON: No!

MARVIN:
Jason, please see a psychiatrist.
He's just a psychiatrist.
I'll pay the bill until you're old.

(Marvin repeats his verse, overlapping with the next two verses)

TRINA: (overlapping) Darling, please listen to your father.
(I can't transcribe the rest of this by ear)

JASON: (overlapping)
No, I won't go!
I will not go!
Never, never, never, never,
Never, never, never, never-

TRINA & MARVIN: What a mess this is, this family! Experts can see this is so!

TRINA, MARVIN, and JASON: Photographs can't capture our magic,
We're simply tragic!

TRINA and MARVIN: Will you go'

JASON: No!

TRINA and MARVIN: Jason, please see a psychiatrist! He's not-

JASON: I won't say boo!

TRINA and MARVIN: Exorbitant, and he's very smart!

JASON: If intelligence were the only criterion,
Then I wouldn't really need a psychiatrist, would I'

TRINA: No.

JASON: Would I'

MARVIN: No.

JASON: Just because you failed as parents'

TRINA: ...Get thee to a psychiatrist!

MARVIN: Ah, hey, kid, listen-

JASON: I don't need-

TRINA and MARVIN: He needs a psychiatrist!

JASON: I want-

TRINA and MARVIN: psychiatrist!

JASON: I want to speak with Whizzer!

MARVIN: Speak with whom'

JASON: With Whizzer.

MARVIN: With Whizzer'

TRINA: With Whizzer.

JASON: With Whizzer.

MARVIN: (speaking) Oh my god.

TRINA, MARVIN, and JASON: (singing) Whizzer! Whizzer! Whizzer! Whizzer!

JASON: Whizzer, do you think I should see a psychiatrist'

WHIZZER: I'm not sure, Jason. Jason, maybe so. Absolutely, Jason.

JASON: ...OK, I'll go.

WHIZZER: He'll go'

JASON: I'll go.

TRINA: He'll go!

JASON: If [bad word] here-

MARVIN: He'll go.

ALL: He/I'll go!
_______________________________________________

This Had [bad word] To an End

WHIZZER: Late for dinner, late again

WHIZZER, MARVIN, AND TRINA:
Late for dinner, late again
Late for dinner, late again
Late for dinner, late, late, late, late
MARVIN:
Whizzer's supposed to always be here
Make the dinner, set to [bad word] 
That's what pretty boys should do
Check their hairlines, make the dinner
And love me

This is going nowhere and fast, Whizzer
This little thing that we have will not last
Don't feel responsible, after all it's through

WHIZZER: I'm not responsible

MARVIN:
Life can be wonderful
Isn't this wonderful?
And this had [bad word] to a stop, Whizzer
Now, Whizzer, ciao Whizzer, bend
This had [bad word] to an end

TRINA:
I was supposed to make the dinner
Make it pretty on his plate
Every wife should pull her weight
Have it ready, make it tasty
And love him

This had [bad word] to a stop doctor
This has been a lousy and horrible flop

MENDEL: Don't feel responsible, after all it's through

TRINA: Who is responsible?

MENDEL:
Don't ask me questions!
I'm frightened of questions
But grateful that [bad word] to a stop, Trina
Smile, Trina, I'll help you mend

WHIZZER AND TRINA:
I met this man today
He wasn't very smart, but he was rich, Marvin
Which, Marvin, do you prefer I lust for?
Brains or money?

MARVIN: Brains

WHIZZER AND TRINA: Brains or money?

MARVIN: I'm not that rich, but, [bad word]  I'm smart
Love me

WHIZZER AND TRINA: No

MARVIN: Love me, please, or break my heart

WHIZZER AND TRINA: This is all very neat

MARVIN: This is all very neat. This is all very neat.

WHIZZER AND TRNA: This is all very smart

MARVIN:
This is all very smart
This had [bad word] to a stop, Mendel
Don't touch me, don't condescend
This had [bad word] 
This had [bad word] to a
This, this, this, this
This had [bad word] to an end

TRINA:
Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop
I chopped it and served his food
The [bad word] forced me

WHIZZER, MENDEL, AND JASON: Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop

TRINA: And still the [bad word] divorced me

WHIZZER, MENDEL, AND JASON: Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop

MARVIN: Late for dinner, late again

TRINA: It isn't like he said

MARVIN: Late for dinner, late again

TRINA: You probably hurt his pride

MARVIN: Late for dinner, late again

TRINA: He's got to have it all

MARVIN: Late for dinner, late again

TRINA: He's like a baby who's denied

WHIZZER, MENDEL, AND JASON: This had [bad word] to a stop, Marvin

WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, AND JASON: This has been a lousy but fabulous flop

WHIZZER: Why is it always ourselves who have to change?

MARVIN: This is incredibly boring

WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, AND JASON:
You've got a temper that redefines temper
And this had [bad word] to a stop, Marvin
Now, Marvin, ciao Marvin, bend
This had [bad word] 
This had [bad word] to a
This, this, this
This had [bad word] to an end

MARVIN: This had [bad word] to an end

ALL: This had [bad word] to an end