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I didnt wanna [bad word] do this song, for real But I wouldnt be real if I didnt [Tech] I be sittin by myself and thinkin, mamma what have I [bad word] All I wanted was a family, but when I look I be the only one Losing everything but money, everybody left and I dont even get to see my young Only happiness I get is in the studio or when I get to do [bad word] On the road, doin shows, get the woes, when it slows gettin cold, getting old, but the flows, gettin sold I've been doin this a minute but I think I wanna end it cause I'm on a higher level when I go But the music I be doin it, be losin, make it hard for me to grow All I wanted is a family portrait, see my babys on a ranch with horses But I was [bad word] devil [bad word] in corsets. I was livin really good but I torched it I'm sorry ms jackson, I'm speakin for real and I never meant to make your daughter cry But I guess I'm a failure with women and I'm lost and I feel like I ought to die Feel like I'm rotting away, my life is just off in the grey How much does it cost I will pay, to lay, and be off in a coffin today I mean off in ashes, this life ain't after a classes, If I get blasted This is Suicide Letters all over again, I thought that I passed it But I guess that I didnt, cause this one is written and there is no mending When I'm broke I'm a joke, when I croke I just hope I wont be descending But this ain't a joke, I want you to know that Tech ninna is never pretending Alone in my bed, a gun to my head, asking WHERE IS MY HAPPY ENDING? Ya [bad word] Tell me how it ends? What about me? Where is my happy ending? What about me? Is this a life worth living? You know how it begins, but how does it end for me? Will I ever win, or does he have it in for me? Will this stop before I stop breathing? Is their lighty, in this dark I'm seein? [Tech] Chea, I put my life in this music, nina is inside out I set my heart out for people, they know what the inside bout Will they keep feelin ninna forever, this I doubt Can never cry for help, if you listenin this my SHOUT I'm searching for the passage way to happiness But i'm wordly So I have to lay in nastiness Yes, this is Strange year, worldwide fames near, but the games [bad word] Sometime I feel like [bad word] the reindeer But instead of a red nose, I stay in my red clothes And the music they said blows, is on top and the cred grows Can you ressurect a mother [bad word] that feel like he pose as a dead soul Deteriorate to an inferior state almost equal to bread mold Now as my head goes, wish I could shed those Because all the time the ninna was shorted, what I bled froze So now that I'm cold blooded, and hella sick is what the med shows The tread slows, and dont even think you reviving a dead rose. Chea [bad word] [Tech] I'm on the verge of insanity, but [bad word] I'm breakin so I pick this one to vent The reason I look away when you talk to me my brain is producin evilness I'm drownin in 151 [bad word] ments. Thats how I feel I sit in the mirror with this gun and practice how to kill But I know [bad word] well that the people like me really wanna know how to chill This life is about a check, about a number about a bill Think about all the love I lost cause my quest is about a mill I feel like your stupid, dont talk to me I'm crackin up And I dont mean laughter I'm full of bitterness and its backing up And I live with angles, but lately demons been shakin up Tug of war with my spirit, you see the blood I'm hacking up? I love my kids and my fans inside I sob harder Cause you pay the price for my life and its right like Bob Barker And I wont pretend its ok I'm no facade starter So I guess my only happy ending is in a massage parlor Chea [bad word]