[VERSE 1]
I don’t care about baseball
And soccer makes me snore
I find golf to be dreary
And football is a bore

I’d rather go do girl things
‘Cause I think sports are lame
But I never ever miss a Quidditch game
 [bad word] 
But what the heck is a Quaffle?
And where on Earth’s the Snitch?
And why does this all have to take place
On the freezing pitch?
Don’t ask me what the score is
‘Cause I just do not know
These things are minor details
And it’s just not why I go

[VERSE 2]
I don’t care if it’s raining
I don’t mind if it’s cold
Because boys in Quidditch outfits
Are a sight just to behold

I know that [bad word] to stare
But I just have no shame
So I never ever miss a Quidditch game
 [bad word] X 3]
But what the heck is a Quaffle?
And where on Earth’s the Snitch?
And why does this all have to take place
On the freezing pitch?
Don’t ask me what the score is
‘Cause I just do not know
These things are minor details
And it’s just not why I go.