Why doesn't she need him for a father?
Not only maidens can occupy my shack
Goring my manhood turns a man off
Like Pepe LePew would say,
Hey, hey, hey! -- then we clash!

I got my diddly spayed (x3)
I got my diddly

She laughs about it
Shrinking inflections if the wind blows just right
Jacking themselves off polyester!
I wanna jump, this isn't right!
Hey, when am I getting it back?

I got my diddly spayed (x3)
I got my diddly

I don't know why,
I got a joke too silly to say
Don't touch the balls
I got a [bad word]  [bad word] -- hear my [bad word] hate!

I got my diddly spayed (x3)
I got my diddly

If you're wondering, it's gaining monthly
Fiberglass insulated, 
Disguised as cotton candy,
Spawning downstream, El Rancho Ovulate
Feeling can't help me romp
Bill just [bad word] me, take me anal
Billy's slit reminds me of someone
I'm sick of paying for the love boat
Tony and Tenille say wanna jump rope
And I say look!

I got my dingaling spayed
I got my liberty 
I got my diddly spayed (x2)

... Nothing hard
I gotta be around [bad word] 
Don't let me fall
I got a heh-heh ...
Well you can't live
We got my diddly spayed

I got diddly spayed (x5)
I got diddly