If I were fire, I'd burn the world;
If I were wind, I'd pester it;
If I were water, I'd sink it;
If I were God, I'd plunge it;

If I were the Pope, I'd be [bad word] 
'cause I'd torment all the Christians;
if I were emperor, I'd be good:
'cause everybody's heads I would cut down.

If I were fire, If I were fire
If I were fire, If I were fire

If I were death, I'd go to my father;
If I were life, I'd flee him:
I'd do the same with my mother.

If I were myself, as I am and was,
I'd take the young and beautiful gals:
The crippled and old I'd leave to others.

If I were fire, If I were fire
If I were fire, If I were fire