It was the first day back to school
 Cuttin' up in class
 Acting like a tool
 Friends are rollin' in
 We started talkin' about the summer
 Dj Saw "Twilight"
 (BUMMER!)
 I spoke up and asked my friends
 "Are there any new girls? 9's or 10's?"
 Hopin' a few hotties had moved from other cities
 And in walked this girl with tig ole' bitties
 I can't believe my eyes
 In a contest they'd win first prize
 Double guarantee, I was checkin' their size
 It's like two beach balls in shirt disguise
 Or Earth and Mars havin' some fun
 Wait, I take that back, it's like two of the sun
 But at this point I let my [bad word]  And drifted it off thinkin' about them tig ole' bitties

 Tig ole' bitties
 Mount Fuji brought its twin
 Tig ole' bitties
 Two melons in a shirt
 Tig ole' bitties
 I put books in my lap
 Tig ole' bitties
 Head bobbin' as she walks
 Tig ole' bitties
 OH MY GOD!
 Tig ole' bitties
 Tig ole' bittes [repeated several times]

 Kept trippin' in class
 Because of her dang [bad word] in a tiny white shirt
 [bad word] having a fiesta
 Later in lab we were messin' with test tubes
 Couldn't take my eyes off the new girl's chest
  [bad word] )
 Wasn't paying attention
 Got busted, had to serve detention
 In biology we talked about bees
 The best kind of bees...
 (BOOBIES!)
 I can't believe my mind
 I hold a poker face to her two of a kind
 With each step her [bad word] gettin' redefined
 I'm making my move
 I'm thinkin' it's time
 (Oh snap!)
 I'm gonna ask her to prom
 And in my head she responds
 "You're the bomb"
 Feeling nervous so I could to three
 "I like your [bad word] "
 "Go to prom with me?"

 Tig ole' bitties
 King kong [bad word]  Tig ole' bitties
 Great tracks of land
 Tig ole' bitties
 Like my balls
 Tig ole' bitties
 Real big
 Tig ole' bitties
 Oh my god!
 Tig ole' bitties
 Tig ole' bitties ( repeated several times ]

 She said yes so I'm getting ready
 Stain on my shirt
 Mom's spaghetti
 I picked her up and I'm pretty sure
 That she'll let me motor boat like
 Br-br-br-br-br
 I try to cop a feel once we got to school
 She said "No touching. that's [bad word] 
 Principle walks up on the scene
 "It's time to announce prom king and queen"
 "Your Favourite Martian and Tig Ole' Bitties"
 "Congratulations to you both on winning"
 Time slowed down and she jumped for joy
 Then out of her dressed jumped something more
 Tissues flew and rained from the sky
 OH MY GOD!
 "You stuff your shirt?"
 Your Favourite Martian in a world of hurt"

 Aww

 Fake ole' bitties
 WOW!
 Fake ole' bitties
 You breakin' my heart with
 Fake ole' bitties
 You're [bad word]  my dreams with
 Fake ole' bitties
 I can't believe it
 Fake ole' bitties
 You really suck
 Fake ole' bitties
 I can't believe you would do that
 Fake ole' bitties