Santa Lost a Ho

Santa used to like to chuckle.
He's always been a belly full of laughs,
Sittin' in his Santa Claus chair
Posing for the photographs.

But now he don't laugh so much,
In fact, about one-third less.
Old Saint Nick's got a problem.
Man, he's in an awful mess.

'Cause he used to go 'ho-ho-ho',
Now he's only goin' 'ho-ho' (Oh-oh! Where'd the other ho go?).
I don't know.
But Santa's feelin' mighty low.

He used to do 'heidi-ho',
Now he's only doing 'Hiedi' (Oh-oh! (typewriter ding) Where'd the other ho go?).
I don't know, Santa lost a ho.

Now, Santa's been doin' his best
To get into the Christmas mood.
Keepin' his little elves happy,
He's the number one Christmas dude.

But there ain't no joy,
'Cause just one toy
Is missin' from Santa's shack.
He never had a doll go AWOL
Once he got her in the sack.

'Cause he used to go 'ho-ho-ho',
Now he's only goin' 'ho-ho' (Oh-oh! (whizz) Where'd the other ho go?) .
I don't know,
But Santa's feelin' mighty low.

He used to do 'heidi-ho',
Now he's only doin' 'heidi-' (Oh-oh! (boing) Where'd the other ho go?) .
I don't know.
Santa lost a ho.
 [bad word] interlude)

He better find that ho
Before he takes off Christmas eve,
'Cause a Santa that's only got two ho's
No one would believe.

Oh, Santa if you need some cheerin',
Stop by on your way.
Jug Band goin' to par-tay
All the way to Christmas day.

Just open up your bag of joy,
Soon you gonna feel alright.
You're gonna leave here laughin'
Even if you're one ho light.

'Cause he used to go 'ho-ho-ho',
Now he's only goin' 'ho-ho' (Oh-oh! (Buzz) Where'd the other ho go?).
I don't know,
But Santa's feelin' mighty low.

He used to do 'heidi-ho',
Now he's only doin' 'heidi-' (Oh-oh! Wwwhere'd the other ho go?).
I don't know,
Santa lost a ho.

But I do know -
The good things in life, [bad word] and go.
Poor old santa lost a ho. (Whizz)