Being on television
Is a [bad word] [bad word] 

I get to play dress-ups all day long
Doo-doo-doo-ooo-ooo

I got to be a superhero
I got to be a singer in a band
But it's not quite perfect
Living in TV land

'Cause my stuntman...
(Stuntman...)
(Stuntman...)
...is a woman

Out of the entire
 [bad word] 
woman was
The one who had the closest
Body shape to me

When all the action starts
I just sit and stew
'Cause they get a girl to do the things
That I'm too wussy to do

'Cause my stuntman...
(Stuntman...)
(Stuntman...)
...is a woman

Yeah, my stuntman...
(Stuntman...)
(Stuntman...)
...is a woman

The stunts they get her to do
Aren't even that stunt-y
If he needs a stuntman to stand on a box
It's a bit affront-y

There was this one scene
Where I get hit by a [bad word] 
But they didn't even use her

They used a dummy...

...of a woman

This situation
Was not part of my plans
She soaks up all the glory
While I'm sitting alone in the van

'Cause it takes a woman...
(Woman...)
(Woman...)

To make me look like a...

...man!