READY FOR THIS, SANS?
-i don't think anybody could be prepared for this.
-SHUT UP, SANS! YOU JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND PERFECTION!

ATTENTION, MONSTERS! MY NAME IS [bad word] 
I'M SKELETON MADE WITH MAGIC BONES AND LOTS OF COOL.
IF YOU NEED PROOF, THEN LOOK AT MY BICEPS
BECAUSE THEY ARE WEARING SUNGLASSES AND THAT CLEARLY MEANS [bad word] 
MY COOKING SKILLS AREN'T RIVALED WHEN [bad word] TO SPAGHETTI WITH SAUCE
AND PASTA NOODLES EXTRA LONG.
AND NOT SINGLE CREATURE HAS SURVIVED DISH...
-but first they thought they bested it...
-SANS, DON'T [bad word] MY SONG!!!

IT TAKES SPECIAL KIND OF PERFECTION
JUST TO MATCH WHAT I HAVE BEEN
WITHOUT EVER HAVING TRIED!
AND THATS WHY UNDYNE WANTS ME IN ROYAL GUARD!
-but don't you still in training?
-HEY, THAT DOESN'T MEAN I LIED!
SO IF YOU THINK THAT WE CAN BE PALS
THAN YOU HAD BET TO BE PREPARED FOR MAXIMUMS OF FUN!!!
UNLESS YOU HUMAN AND I AM AFRAID
YOU'LL BE CAPTURED
-but you kinda made frends with one
-SANS!
-what?
-STOP PLUGGING MY MIXTAPE WITH INCIDENT LYRICS!
-i thought they sounded pretty good
-WELL, I THINK THEY SOUNDED LIKE NOT [bad word]  WHICH IS THE WORST KIND OF SOUND TO BE!
-oh... well... sorry then
-IT'S OKAY, SANS! I ALREADY FORGIVE YOU. C'MON! LET'S GO GET SOME NICECREAM!
-huh, this is actually on fire right now. i think thats the first time you successfully cooked something.
-YOU'RE OFFICIALLY UNFORGIVEN, SANS!