Came down from the North
You know the way they do
Got a cheeky smile [bad word] Northerner

Hanging round the clubs
Gets in them for free
Don't know how he does it [bad word] Northerner

Drinks a lot of beer
At least he doesn't smoke
Hasn't lost his accent [bad word] Northerner

How does he do it?
How does he do it?
Acts like he's got nothing to prove [bad word] Northerner

It's not all football and [bad word] No it's not all football and [bad word] 
Don't you dare imply
that it's grim up North
He went last weekend [bad word] Northerner

In the latest clothes
Wears a posh cologne
Got a lot of pride [bad word] Northerner

Says he wants a job
Something interesting
like a graphic designer [bad word] Northerner

How does he do it?
How does he do it?
Acts like he's got nothing to prove [bad word] Northerner

It's not all football and [bad word] No it's not all football and [bad word]