There's a magical land I know 
place where I grew up 
And I'd make a deal with the devil himself 
To see that place blown up 

There in that interesting land I know 
Where no one has a brain 
They all wear jeans that are acid washed 
And yet they think I'm insane 

I would get down on my knees and service the Japanese 
Till i reek of old sushi, but please 
Bomb New Jersey 
I would happily kowtow to my new leader Chairman Mao 
I would even learn Chinese, just please 
Bomb New Jersey 

I would go tell Jong Ill Kim that they're making fun of him 
In a kimchi-hating town that's known as New Jersey 
Better yet I've got a plan, I will convince Pakistan 
That India can be found somewhere in New Jersey 

New Jersey is the place where i grew up 
They pelted me with rocks and garbage 
I guess it's tough to be a [bad word] in the Garden State 
And if you have a y girlfriend then they're doubly irate 

I would climb a rocky crag and plant [bad word] flag 
On a smoldering hole once known 
As New Jersey 
Oh, it would be a tragic loss if both Bon Jovi and The Boss 
Are somewhere out of state when the Danes 
Nuke New Jersey 

It's a place named after a sweatshirt 
So what more can you expect sir? 
And if you try to express your individuality 
They will throw you to the ground 
And they'll kick you in the teeth 
Like they did to me 

The [bad word] down on Morris Town 
And Trenton's up in flames 
Newark we drowned, then burnt it down 
But Elizabeth still smells the same 
Many butts will breach on Marmanth beach 
We'll erase Orange from site 

But before I leave this land I loathe 
I bid New Jersey Goodnight