fine romance, my good fellow
You take romance, I'll take Jello
You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean
At least they flap their fins to express emotion

fine romance, with no quarrels
With no insults and all morals
I've never mussed a crease in your blue serge pants
I never get the chance, this, is a fine romance!

fine romance, with no kisses
fine romance, my friend, this is
To love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has
We don't have half the thrills that the march of time has

fine romance, with no clinches
fine romances, with no pinches
You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France!
I haven't got a chance, My hearts not made of plastic,
You're the reason I'm sarcastic!
'Cause this is a fine, a fine romance.

Songwriters
KERN, JEROME / FIELDS, DOROTHY