[Intro: Okey Canfield Chenoweth III/Abraham Lincoln]
''I am now the most miserable man living. If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one cheerful face on Earth."

[Verse 1]
Everything makes me nervous
And nothing feels good for no reason
Waking up, it's rarely worth it
The same dark dread every morning
Senior year here in Mahwah
new world just around the corner
Leave me behind, let me stagnate
In a fortress of solitude
Smoking's been okay so far
But I need something that works faster
So all I want for Christmas is no feelings
No feelings now and never again!

[Verse 2]
There is a faceplate all brown and red that stretches across my mouth
It's worn for protection, nobody gets in and nobody gets out
I used to look myself in the mirror at the end of every day
But I took the one thing that made me beautiful and threw it away
I was a river, I was a tall tree, I was a volcano
But now I'm asleep on top of a mountain, I've been covered in snow
Yes, I have surrendered what made me human and all that I thought was [bad word] 
So now there's a robot that lives in my brain and he tells me what to do
And I can do nothing without his permission or (which) wasn't part of the plan
So now in a Rock Ridge pharmacy I will be waiting for my man
But there is another, down in a dungeon, who never gave up the fight
And he'll be forever screaming, sometimes I hear him say, on a quiet night, he says:

[Bridge]
"You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser, man!

[Outro]
"You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser, now...
And that's okay!"