I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
Nothing special about me Mother [bad word] 
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
When I go to the clubs I wait in line Mother [bad word] 
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I got 600 dollars In the bank Mother [bad word] 
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
And my ual performances are average

I work at customer service for a [bad word] 
I make 12 bucks an hour but that's all I need
I live in a small apartment on a quiet street
I don't go out too much I like to watch TV
I cant afford a car I use public transportation
I don't mind I read 'til I reach my destination
sometimes a newspaper, sometimes a book
the amount of money I save this [bad word] is off the hook

And i am not very good with the women
I'm a pretty shy person and I'm average looking
last time I had  was in 2003
and I am ashamed to admit but it wasn't free

I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I get nervous in social situations Mother [bad word] 
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I get constipated once a month Mother [bad word] 
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
And i make pretty good spaghetti sauce Mother [bad word] 
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
and I get scared when I go see the dentist

I'm the "Pauly Shore" of everyday life
easily forgettable and I am not very liked
I have an "According to Jim" personality
I'm as entertaining as a [bad word] STD

if you wanna mess with me I think you probably can
because I am not confident and i am weak for a man
I'll just roll up in a ball while you kick me in the back, yeah
honestly I probably wont fight back
And I don't have many friends that would back me up
My friend Steve would but he doesn't look very tough

Steve: "You want some of this [bad word] "

If you rarely get laid put your hands up
If you're not well paid put your hands up
If you got a pet cat put your hands up
and if you got a bad back put your hands up

Jon: "I hurt my back two summers ago moving a fridge and ever since then it's just not the same... you know it... it gets... It gets pretty sore"

I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
My parents are really nice people Mother [bad word] 
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I am somewhat afraid of heights Mother [bad word] 
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I like the show "Greys Anatomy" Mother [bad word] 
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
and I am pretty good at making paper planes