ALEX FERGUSON vs JOSE MOURINHO
Mourinho 
OK, this is Jose and Imma keep it simple
Imma pop that red face just as if it was a pimple
Everybody knows that me, yeah I’m the best
Mainly cause I ain’t got [bad word] hanging down from my chest, yes.
Howard Webb is so far up your own [bad word] 
That he gets a hard one when you bend to pick the bar soap.
You better hope to the gods, that I give you mercy,
But he’s on my side. The Special One, you heard me?

Ferguson 
I’ve been in the game longer, than you can remember.
Worldwide they’re singing my name, while calling you “The Pretender”
I’m that aggy Man U managing dude with a temper.
I’m on the attack, so you could use a defender.
And I’ve seen your interviews talking all arrogant.
You’re the biggest bell of all Portugal’s managers.
The English are finished with you,
You bored the Italians,
And now you’re having to resort to a Spanish club.

Mourinho
Hey, Fergie, I just turned on the news, and saw you quit.
Well, Imma step up your club and mess with all of your [bad word] #33;
Oh, wait, a ginger guy already beat me to it,
Well, Imma go with Chealsea and still do it,
I frickin knew it!
We all know, you can’t hack it: the only thing good
Is your Fergie-time tactic, and everebody knows,
That you always breed spastics
And now I’m about to shove
Your body straight into the  casket, you [bad word] 

Ferguson

Every manager’s after a toke of whatever I’m smoking on.
I collect football trophies like pokemon.
You know me, I’m the only one who can tell Rooney, what to do.
I’m known as soccer’s Ben Kenobi Homey Obi Wan,
You owe me one, I’ve got a knighthood, you’ve got a [bad word] club.
My tactics are rock solid – yours are plywood.
And everytime your reputations damaged, then I’m delighted.
Yours sincerely, the manager of Man United.

Mourinho
I’m handsome, I’m clean, you’re just a pensioner.
How your wife been? Been a while since I mentioned her…
It’s been a while, since I’ve seen her smile; since I had my wrench in her.
She doesn’t want your love, she just wants the expenditure.
How long until you wanted [bad word] back?
But we’re glad to see the end of that chewing gum pack, ha.
Sir Alex, you are no legend,
I hate you, you’re just a stinky little bellend.
Oh, look! Ronaldo on the phone!
He’s about to share some gossip, that’s gonna break your bones.
Ferguson and Jose – we both managed him.
Tell him, who gives the better head: me or him?

Ronaldo
Awesome winger.

Wenger
What the f…

Ferguson
I roll with one of the best clubs in the premiership –
Man U
So I suggest that you let me send you a tip.
But, yet again, you’ll never listen to any of this,
You’re too busy trying to impress the press with a quip!
 [bad word] #33; You’ll be left with a split lip.
You’re this thick, you’ll probably try to fix it with “Pritt Stick”.
And if I suspect, that you’re lacking respect,
I’ll leave your knackers in the back of the net.
Who’s next?