MAX:
Listen, Roger: did you get a chance yet to read Springtime for Hitler? 
ROGER:
Read it? I devoured it! I for one, for instance, 
Never realized that the Third Reich meant Germany. 
MAX:
Yeah, how 'bout that? Then you'll do it? 
ROGER:
Do it? Of course not.
The theatre's so obsessed
With dramas so depressed
It's hard to sell a ticket on Broadway
Shows should be more pretty
Shows should be more witty
Shows should be more...
What's the word? 
LEO:
 [bad word]  
ROGER:
Exactly!
No matter what you do on the stage
Keep it light, keep it bright, keep it [bad word] #33;
Whether it's murder, mayhem or rage
 [bad word]  it's a pain
Keep it [bad word] #33; 
CARMEN:
People want laughter when they see a show
The last thing they're after's a litany of woe 
ROGER & CARMEN:
happy ending will pep up your play... 
ROGER:
Oedipus won't bomb... 
CARMEN:
If he winds up with Mom!
Keep it [bad word] #33; 
ROGER:
Keep it [bad word] .. 
ROGER & CARMEN:
Keep it [bad word] #33; 
MAX:
Couldn't agree with you more. And you have our blessings, Roger,
to make Springtime for Hitler just as [bad word] as anyone could possibly want.
So, c'mon, do it for us, please. 
ROGER:
No, sorry, Max, but it's simply not my cup of tea.
Still, fair is fair, perhaps I should ask my production team what they think.
This is my set designer, Bryan. 
BRYAN:
Keep it glad, keep it mad, keep it [bad word] #33; 
ROGER:
And here's my costume designer, Kevin. 
KEVIN:
Hello...
Keep it happy, keep it snappy, keep it [bad word] #33; 
BRYAN & KEVIN:
We're clever, creative
It's our job to see
That ev'rything's perfect for Mr. De Bris! 
ROGER:
Next, Scott, my choreographer... 
SCOTT:
Hi there... 
ROGER:
And, ah, finally, last and least, my lighting designer, Shirley Markowitz. 
SHIRLEY:
Keep it [bad word]  keep it [bad word]  keep it [bad word] 
LEO:
I don't think we're getting to them, Max. What do we do now? 
MAX:
Watch this. Roger, listen. I think that Springtime for Hitler
would be a marvelous opportunity for you. I mean, up to now,
you've always been associated with frivolous musicals. 
ROGER:
You're right. I've often felt as though I've been throwing my life away 
on silly little entertainments. Deopy showgirls in gooey gowns.
Two-three-kick-turn! Turn-turn-kick-turn! 
CARMEN:
Oh, Roger. 
ROGER:
It's enough to make you heave. Nonetheless, sorry, Max.
I just couldn't do Springtime for Hitler 
MAX:
Why not? Think of the prestige. 
ROGER:
No. 
MAX:
Think of the respect. 
ROGER:
No, no, no. 
MAX:
Think of ... the Tony! 
CARMEN & THE TEAM:
Tony...Tony...Tony...Tony...Tony! 
ROGER:
Ngaaaaaahhhhh! 
MAX:
What's the matter? 
LEO:
Is he all right? 
CARMEN:
He's having a stroke... 
MAX & LEO:
What? 
CARMEN:
...of genius! 
ROGER:
I see it! I see it! At last. The chance to do something important! 
CARMEN:
Roger de Bris presents History! 
ROGER:
Of course that whole second act has to be rewritten. 
They're losing the war? Excuse me. It's too downbeat. 
CARMEN:
Roger de Bris presents History! 
ROGER:
But maybe...it's a wile idea, but it just might work...
I see a line of beautiful girls
Dressed as storm troopers, each one a gem
With leather boots and whips on their hips
It's risque, dare I say, S & M! 
CARMEN & THE TEAM:
Love it! 
ROGER:
I see German soldiers dancing through France
Played by [bad word] boys in very tight pants
And wait, there's more - they win the war!
And the dances they do will be daring and new
Turn-turn-kick-turn, turn-turn-kick-turn
One-two-three-kick-turn!
Keep it sassy, keep it classy, keep it... 
MAX:
That is brilliant. Brill