May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're going to have a problem here
c
(Verse 1)
Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before
jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
started whoopin her [bad word] worse than before
they first get divorced throwing her over furniture (scream)
It's the return of the
Oh wait, no way, your kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did
he?
And Dr Dre said
....Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (haha)
Feminist women love Eminem
Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him
look at him, walking around grabbing his you know what
Flipin' the you know who yeah, but hes so cute though
Yea I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
but no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose,
but can't, but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
my bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
and if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
and that's the message that we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to know what a womens clitoris is.
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit 4th grade,
they got the discovery channel don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals; well some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes.
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote.
Women wave your panty hoes, sing the [bad word] and it goes...
 [bad word] 
I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
becuase I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
(Verse 2)
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so [bad word] him and [bad word] you too.
You think I give a damm about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.
But Slim what if u win wouldn't it be weird?
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears.
 [bad word]  Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first.
Little [bad word] put me on blast on MTV
yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim, hehe
I should download her audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D. (scream)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I've been sent here to destroy you
And theres a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me
Who just don't give a [bad word] like me
Who dress like me
Walk, talk and act like me
It just might be the next best thing
But not quite me
 [bad word] 
(Verse 3)
I'm like a headtrip to listen to
Cause I'm only giving you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya'll
And I don't gotta be false or sugar coated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it (rip)
I just [bad word] it better than 90% of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kidz eat up these albums like valiums.
Its funny cuz at the rate im going when I'm 30
Ill be the only person in the nursing home flirting.
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens and I'm jerking
But this whole bag of viagra isn't working
And every