I got up at half past four
forty-four robbers around my door
forty-four - and maybe more
what the [bad word] they want me for?
stubbly faces & gap-tooth grins
ain't no way I'm lettin' them in

no way - you [bad word] in
forty-four robbers stinkin' of gin
uh huh - I ain't lettin' you in
I'll hit you with a rolling pin
so small can't hurt a fly
get in my way and I'll sure as [bad word] try
to kick your butt down the block
can't wait yellin' for the cops

fifty dealers and fifty thieves
starring at the drive-in on my street [bad word]  over my shoulder there's Popeye and Bluto
looking nasty - can I remember my judo?
it's always like this - going out alone
so [bad word] scared might never leave home

I've got my freedom I've got my pride
all means nothin' with these men outside
puffing and preening and [bad word] their stuff
blocking my way out - I've had enough!
give me justice - hand it over now
gotta get a gun or maybe just leave town...

see ya!

Sly Stallone and Al Capone
are giving me grief on the telephone
all I want is a Swiss cheese sarnie
when at the deli stands big Arnie
hey Jean-Claude - move aside
that taxi's mine - I'm taking that ride
when I go out to get the Sunday paper
what's my man to think 'someone might rape her'?!
I'm just having a beer on my own
don't mean Hulk Hogan can take me home
I've got my mace but my loud-as [bad word] whistle
is so ineffective I just pray the Epistles
for help [bad word] someday soon
but until then I'll stay in my room