You're not having this, and I'm not having that
I'm not a reasonable man, [bad word] for it back
Let 'em all in, don't you know that I love a crowd
But I wont get the jokes, cos the laughter's too loud

I never was slight, or silent with you
For one hour of delight, in the gathering gloom
I've no reservations, I've got no room
For these souvenirs, to bring for you

Solo - [bad word] 
Let 'em all in, don't you know that I love a crowd
But they wont get the jokes, cos the laughter's too loud

And I'm not the man you think I am at all
I was learning to walk, and starting to crawl
I've no reservations, I've got no room
For these souvenirs, to bring back to you

And you're not having this, and I'm not having that
I'm not a reasonable man, [bad word] for it back