Ho! What's wrong with your face? Baby, yikes
With those teeth with your 'tude there'll be no dust left to bite
Christ, news flash, kid: this is show business
Show some class when you dress, shave that bush off your lips
Your band's named Queen, huh? Ain't that sweet
You dance like you rode a bicycle race with no seat
That's what's wrong with you people, you'll do anything to get famous
You changed your name to Mercury, you should've been Freddie Uranus

Think I haven't heard those things before?
You're just a bully who's too scared to go to war!
You had a hit song called "My Way", but someone else wrote it
You're the least talented rat in your whole pack of rodents
You've got no notes in your whole range, you can't act, and you can't dance!
I'm more powerful than you and I'm wearing women's pants!
Why do you stand there in a suit? it's like you're trying to bore me
When I rock the UK, South America gets horny
Because my songs have balls! They're the anthems of victory!
Your music is like the sound track to a vasectomy
You're in the pocket of the mafia, and everybody knows
Ditty Dago

Ditty Dago?

Ditty Dago, Figaro.

Easy, Jaws of Life, I can't stand a racist
I love the coloreds and the [bad word]  just ask Sammy Davis
Look, we all want to swing, baby, but you took it too far
You played [bad word] roulette and you lost the draw!

I took one for both teams from a disease no one knew existed
I didn't leave a mark on history, I French kissed it!
I'm a champion of the world, extinguished in his prime!
So kiss my [bad word] Frank, but you'll have to wait in line.